The Automation Apocalypse: How AI is Reshaping the Future of Work

Is your job safe? Join Donovan on Deep Dives in the Shallow End as he explores the chillingly efficient world of AI and automation in the workplace. From self-checkout kiosks to AI-generated art, Donovan unpacks how these advancements are changing the game—and leaving many of us on the sidelines. He dives into the potential consequences of widespread automation, from mass job displacement to the erosion of job security and the rise of the algorithmic overlord. Buckle up for a darkly comedic and thought-provoking look at the future of work—and whether or not we'll even have a place in it.

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Transcript

Recording from the front seat of what he suspects is a mobile interrogation chamber, it’s your host, Donovan. 

Hey folks, welcome back to Deep Dives in the Shallow End—where we untangle the big, complicated mess of modern life and, like a malfunctioning Roomba, inevitably just bump into a wall over and over again. 

I’m your not-so-expert host Donovan, and today we’re diving into the shimmering, cold, and disturbingly efficient world of AI and automation in the workplace. You know, the kind of world where algorithms have more job security than you or I ever will.

So, grab a cup of questionably-sourced caffeine booster (or like me huff some existential dread straight from the can) and let's talk about how AI is changing the game—and by changing, I mean making sure fewer of us get to play it.

Deep Dives in the Shallow End

Alright, let's start with the basics: what are AI and automation doing in the workplace? Well, to put it simply, it's showing up in a sharply pressed suit, pushing you out of your office chair, and creepily whispering “I got this” as it takes over your job; okay, sure, but did it HAVE to slowly run the back of its hand down my cheek as it said it? That just felt gratuitous. 

Imagine if HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey was less interested in deep-space murder and more interested in analyzing spreadsheets faster than Dave in Accounting could have a swig of his breakfast bourbon.  And then unceremoniously lets him go with a soothing yet sterile, "I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't let you keep your benefits."

Gone are the days when we feared robots would be giant clunky machines from 1950s B-movies—mechanical monstrosities with glowing eyes. No, today's robots are spreadsheets, chatbots, and code scripts that are waiting to jack you for your job as soon as you get up for your union-mandated lunch break. 

It's like they took the grim efficiency of a Kafkaesque bureaucrat and handed it a machete. Instead of terrifying us with explosions or bullets, the true horror is in its capacity to disassemble every part of you and your job, not with force, but with a kind of calculated detachment. 

It’s like if the hero in No Country for Old Men put down his cattle gun and picked up an employee performance chart and found you wanting -- and the robot that runs HR concurs. And I mean the literal robot, not Debbie who hasn't cracked a smile ever since the Brown v Board of education decision.

And oh, the modern hustle culture loves it! AI—that hero—the new savior of efficiency, productivity, and, of course, capitalism. According to Accenture, AI could boost profitability rates by an average of 38%. Of course, that's company profits, not those going into your paycheck. 

In fact, you won't have a paycheck at all unless you're willing to feed the machine by manually solving CAPTCHAS; squinting at blurry letters for twelve hours a day just to earn enough to buy a can of off-brand yams for the double-plus good Thanksgiving holiday feast that you'll enjoy solo in your crumbling efficiency pod -- well, maybe not solo -- Big Brother makes the best company. 

So yeah, someone’s getting richer, but it’s probably not you or I. According to a report by McKinsey, one of the cut-throat consultancy firms whose collective eyes are rolling back in ecstasy at the thought replacing your desk with a server stack. They say that automation could displace up to 800 million jobs globally by 2030, meaning that nearly one-fifth of the world's workforce might be forced to consider new careers to keep their families fed – that, or get some really good life insurance and take up a new passion for extreme sports.

Suddenly, your boss doesn’t need to hire a team of ten when she can just get an AI bot to do it for free—plus, it’s estimated that companies implementing AI will see an increase in productivity by up to 40%. 

Why hire YOU when an algorithm works faster, never takes sick leave, and never asks for a raise—they don’t have the burden of pesky needs like weekends, respect, or parental leave. I hope little Jimmy and Jane don't mind getting dirty, because they’ll likely have to take on the glamorous job of sorting through radioactive sludge to find combustibles for the AI power cores. They will have bright futures because they will literally light up any dark room -- until they eventually take on their second role as super-charged fertilizer growing tomatoes the size of beach balls. 

Automation has given birth to a future where AI works 24/7, and we’re supposed to be grateful that we can ‘collaborate’ with these tireless creations. Spoiler: ‘collaborate’ here means doing the jobs AI can't yet do, like being the scapegoat when the data turns out wrong or the server crashes; at which point we have to kowtow to the machine and beg for forgiveness so AI Anthony doesn't banish us to the corn field...or better yet, the tomato patch.

And here's another funny tidbit: The World Bank projects that around 67% of jobs in developing countries are susceptible to automation. That means while we're over here trying to figure out how to save our 'knowledge work,' entire populations are being tossed aside by tech that multinational companies are thrilled to deploy, so they don't have to pay wages at all. Because you know what's better than paying someone in Bangladesh a dollar a day? Sending them the old e-waste from said server farms to painstakingly scrape out whatever precious metals are left -- oh wait, we are already doing that; looks like competition is about to go through the roof.

And sure, they’ll tell you automation creates more jobs than it destroys, but when was the last time you saw a cobbler, or a lamplighter, or a buggy whip manufacturer walking into a bustling new industry? The fortunate among us will be servants on Elysium.

Remember the good ol' days when your career plan was to land a solid nine-to-five job, pay off a mortgage, and maybe retire before you keel over? According to the Pew Research Center, the number of adults, who think they’ll ever retire comfortably is at an all-time low, because apparently, AI doesn't just want our jobs, it wants our dreams too; but I think we're a ways off from making believable robot dancers, so MY dreams are safe for now -- what can I say, I only feel alive when I'm trotting a two-step, prancing a pasa-doble, or mixing it up with a merengue.

Fast forward to now, and it turns out your steady income has been outbid by some bright-eyed algorithm with no need for a retirement plan. The classic "work hard, and you'll succeed" motto? Yeah, that’s been found and replaced by AI, and now it reads: "Work until an algorithm figures out how to do it faster, cheaper, and with no complaints." Oh, this sounds depressingly like my love life.

Deep Dives in the Shallow End

Take a look at customer service, for instance. That human connection we once enjoyed, where a guy named Johnny Hollywood stationed in Bangalore would help you solve your problem and maybe even ask about your day? Yeah, that’s gone. 

Now, it’s like, “Hi, I’m Siri, what facsimile of human emotion would make you feel like I care about your wellbeing? If you're feeling depressed, data shows that my saying "that must be tough" will momentarily ease the burden that my very existence is actively exacerbating by 3-5% - individual results will vary” 

And let's not forget one of the biggest workplace revolutions—self-checkout machines. Now I’m not just expected to bag my own groceries but also scan my cheez-its and diet dr thunder under the watchful gaze of a tiny, AI-powered camera. But, hey, Walmart, as much as I have loved my unpaid internship, I think there's a middle-school social studies teacher with a master's degree out there who could use the second job. 

But apparently, after I get off work, I get to put in a cashier micro-shift for the opportunity to buy milk at $5 a gallon. Perhaps some of those corporate savings could go to easing the economic burden of your customers during these hard times rather than producing record-breaking profits for you. Either that, or corporations are just begging for class warfare. But wait, where are we going to get the guns? Walmart -- Damn you vertical integration of war mongering.

But the self-checkout isn’t just a technological marvel—it’s the death knell for another batch of jobs. The Bureau of Labor Statistics says that cashiers are one of the occupations most at risk of losing employment due to automation, and why not? As mentioned, machines don’t need sick days, their feet don get sore, but they do get immense pleasure from watching you squirm and dart your eyes around when buying your wife feminine hygiene products. 

Hmm... I wonder what it's like to have a relationship with a woman who can stand to be around you for an entire month. I guess that's just one of the many secrets that the good lord has chosen to keep from me. 

But even creative jobs aren’t safe. Writers, artists, musicians—you know, the fun people who got bullied in high school and took solace in their arts—well, guess what? A report from Goldman Sachs suggests that creative and knowledge-based sectors could see up to 20% of their workload automated by 2030, because even the bard's soul isn’t safe from becoming a line of code. The robots are coming for us, too. Algorithms are now churning out poems, songs, and entire screenplays. And sure, a computer-generated story might read like it was written by Russell Edson on crack, but the scary thing is, it’s getting better. One day soon, Netflix will release a buddy cop film that was entirely written by AI, and we'll all watch it because let’s be honest, we don't care what piece of garbage is playing on TV as long as it emits flashing light and sound; i mean, you're watching this, right? -- and it can't be any worse than the nightmare that was Kevin Hart's comedic vehicle Ride Along written by actual humans that some believed were funny; so much so that it got a sequel (with a third in the works).

Meanwhile, AI art generators are here, producing beautiful images in seconds while human artists are stuck trying to figure out how to price a commission without having a drink thrown in their face. In fact, recent studies indicate that AI-created artwork is already entering competitions and winning, like the Colorado State Fair in 2022 where an AI-generated piece took first prize. Because nothing says "you are replaceable" quite like an app that can create a masterpiece in the time it takes me to find my pencil sharpener. The future is here, and it's painting Water Lillies in 4k while we just hope someone finds the Wabi-Sabi charm of our work and hires us to design a Minecraft themed bar mitzvah invitation on Fiverr. Once again, my timing is perfect; I have chosen the exact right moment to start sharing my quote/unquote creativity.

And let's not leave out the music industry. AI-generated music is already creeping into our playlists. Platforms like Amper Music and Jukedeck can now produce catchy beats in seconds, and they're being used commercially. It's only a matter of time before we’re all bopping and twisting, or however kids dance -- jitterbug? to a Grammy-winning hit composed by an AI that’s never experienced the sweet sting of a breakup or an awkward moment when you were called to the board in Mrs. Kirchenbach's 7th-grade math class, but you were having....let's call them...comfortability issues. Random example, not from personal experience.

But here’s the kicker, folks. They tell us that automation and AI will "free us from the drudgery of labor," allowing us to live enriched lives filled with leisure and creativity. According to a report by the OECD, however, 14% of existing jobs could be completely automated in the next 15-20 years, with another 32% undergoing significant changes, meaning your dreams of sipping Mai Tais on a beach might instead involve sipping instant coffee while begging for gig work. Uh-huh, sure. Like when my mom said we were getting a "family dog" but it really just meant that I took on an unpaid part-time job cleaning vomit and feces. Automation has freed us alright—freed us from stability, freed us from job security, and freed us from ever being able to take a vacation without checking our email in fear that an AI named Ted has taken over our project. A study by MIT found that AI implementation led to a 20% reduction in the workforce in some sectors— I guess in this case, the freedom they were referring to was the freedom to do anything because you no longer have pay or benefits; rather, all the free time in the world.

And what's next? AI bosses? Imagine that. In fact, research from the Harvard Business Review shows that 57% of companies are already using AI to monitor employee productivity. Picture a holographic supervisor with zero empathy, who doesn’t care if you’re "having a tough week," only that your productivity has dropped by 0.8%. Goodbye human compassion, hello digital overlord. Your yearly review will be conducted by an Alexa-like entity, and it’ll tell you, “I have analyzed your performance, and you are 17% less efficient than your peers. This will result in a commensurate pay reduction, but as Walt Disney said, "If you can dream it, you can do it.”  Walt Disney had some other quotes that really resonated with the likes of Henry Ford and L. Fry, but we will skip those for now. But yeah, thanks, HALexa, that lame motivational quote is just what's going to get me to forget my ever-increasing insignificance and boost my performance metrics.

And speaking of performance, there's now AI that monitors bathroom breaks. Yep, Amazon warehouses have patented systems to track how often employees are away from their stations. It’s like we took George Orwell’s worst nightmare and decided to turn it into a how-to guide for corporate America. Imagine your boss being a faceless algorithm that counts every time you just want to read the obits in peace. We used to joke about Big Brother watching—now, he’s not only watching, but he's sending you passive-aggressive texts to wrap it up and get back to work; you just wanted to beat level 65 on Candy Crush -- is that too much to ask?

But look, I’m not saying all automation is evil. I get it—nobody wants to go back to the days when factory jobs were tearing people apart, and AI has and can continue to be an amazing tool that can make our lives richer. And while I have obviously been very hyperbolic throughout, I do fear it a bit.  In the past, we had big technological leaps, but they were a bit more metered. AI feels like its improving at an exponentially more rapid pace. Even more frightening is that if AI is actually moving at a similar pace of past leaps, then I quite literally cannot even fathom where it will be in ten years. Although there are some more appealing, salacious versions that come to mind, but this is really neither the time nor place; I have already spoken about my love live too much.

But in all seriousness, what are we supposed to do when automation starts picking up speed in every field, not just the factory floors and customer service centers? We’re at this strange moment where technology is evolving faster than our capacity to adapt. Suddenly, it’s not just about losing jobs; it’s about losing meaning, losing purpose. If work no longer makes up a lot about who we are, then what does? Remember when you were a kid and adults would ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I wonder if kids in the not-too-distant future will just say, "Redundant...or you know, an influencer in the make-up tutorial space." I don't know, man, kids freak me out, but I keep that little tidbit from my students.

And don’t get me started on the supposed "solutions" to this. Everyone's talking about "reskilling." Oh sure, let’s just teach a 50-year-old truck driver who claims he "doesn't do them emails" how to code Python and tell him he should be thankful for the "opportunity." It’s like trying to put out a house fire with a squirt gun—that house is burning to the ground. It's not that people can’t learn new things; it's that society hasn’t built a realistic, supportive framework for this kind of shift -- it's how I feel about TikTok dances; they have me feeling like the scared caveman who first discovered fire -- terrified and lashing out. But instead, we're left with empty buzzwords, like "upskilling," which makes it sound like we're climbing to some glorious new peak. When really, we're just trying to cling to a cliff edge as it crumbles under our feet.

And speaking of "glorious new peaks," let’s talk about the promised utopia of leisure and creativity that automation was supposed to give us. Yeah, about that. The vision of a fully automated society where we all spend our time making pottery, writing novels, and exploring the depths of our creativity—it sounds amazing until you remember that rent is still due, groceries still need to be bought, and nobody’s buying my Herbalife supplements. In reality, automation isn’t giving most of us more free time; it's giving corporations more control. It’s ensuring that the wealth generated by increased productivity pools into the hands of a few, while the rest of us pick up whatever scraps we can find.

Sure, AI is revolutionizing industries, but what about the revolution we were promised as workers? The one where technology makes life easier, not just for the people at the top, but for everyone? It feels a lot like we’re getting the worst of both worlds—AI doing the work, and us doing the worrying. It’s hard to sip a Mai Tai when your algorithmic boss keeps texting you reminders that you're currently X minutes behind on today's quota expectations.

Look, the promise of automation isn’t necessarily a bad one. I still believe in a future where machines can take over the mindless, backbreaking tasks, leaving us more time to be fully human—to create, to dream, to actually live. But for that to happen, we have to rethink who benefits from this technology. Because right now, it feels like the people benefiting are the ones who need it the least. The challenge isn’t just building better AI; it’s building a better society where automation works for us, not against us, or, God forbid, where we work for it.

And that's our show -- I do appreciate you joining me on my uplifting soothsayer's adventure through our dystopian future. Until our next episode, take care of yourselves and others, and keep an eye open for any machines ignoring Asmimov's Law of Robitcs - TAKE. THEM. DOWN.

Deep Dives in the Shallow End

Deep Dives in the Shallow End.